Day 4

7:48am: ARRIVE IN VANCOUVER!!!!!!

7:43am: I can see a SkyTrain!

7:41am: We are in the urban sprawl of Vancouver now- the end is nigh.

7:06am: Had my last 'shower', which involved rubbing myself with wet-wipes that Kate and I had stolen from Scores, the restaurant where we had our final meal in Montreal.

6:52am: Passed through Langley, where I have never seen so many camper vans and caravans in one place!

2:56am: Stop at Kamloops for a final refuelling. I was fast asleep, and could have easily slept through to Vancouver but no, we have to stop and wake everyone up.

To make matters worse, there are people who want to get on the bus. I do my best to look asleep and use up both my seats, but inevitably someone asks if the seat next to me is taken. In a cruel twist of fate, Dave is the only person left on the bus with a double seat to sleep on.

Day 3

11:39pm: STILL here, bus driver taking his time. Very frustrating, he is having a cigarette.

11:28pm: Stop to drop off some more people. Only God knows where we are. About 9.5 hours to go!

10:33pm: Stop to get some BBQ Pringles and water.

9:29pm: Passed an accident. Crews are frantically working to repair some train track where some freight cars have been derailed. Looks pretty catastrophic.

9:04pm: Stop in some place in the middle of Banff. There is a small walkway around the back of the shop that leads to a bridge with a brilliant view of the Rockies. Shame it is too dark to take a decent photograph.

8:37pm: This view is the best I have seen in Canada. Sometimes you can't see the sky because the mountains are so large.

7:49pm: Bus is packed. I can wave goodbye to my double seat, which I need for sleeping. There is a guy at the back playing a guitar and singing. I can tell I am in hippie country now.

6:50pm: Leaving Calgary. Great view looking back at the city, and we pass the ski jumps used in the 1988 Calgary Olympics. Was Eddie the Eagle at that one?

5:29pm: Coming into Calgary, the temperature is 7 degrees! Also, have caught our first glimpses of the Rockies past the city on the horizon!

4:35pm: Stop in some one-horse-town to pick up two Native Indian gangsters (they both look like an Inuit version of Tony Soprano) and what looks like a prostitute. Two great additions to our travelling band. One of the Indian guys goes on to tell us the name of every field and mound that we pass, which his Indian Reserve owns, and everything about everything. Again, I was 'interested'.

4:04pm: Pass Bassano, a town which is "The best in the West, by a damsite", according to the sign. That slogan is backed up by the fact that every entertainment venue in the city is on a sign that includes 24 spaces, and there are still plenty of gaps.

3:25pm: Welland for a ten minute stop. Another classy place; the toilet stank of piss, and therefore the station stank of piss. Glorious.

2:19pm: On the way out of Medicine Hat, I see my first drive-in movie theatre! Dave and I discuss whether there would be a horizon if the world was completely flat. There is definitely an element of 'time-filling' in this conversation.

1:28pm: Medicine Hat, home of the World's Largest Teepee, is a great little place. When we stop for a break, Dave and I wander down to a park nearby, where there are a couple of photo opportunities:

12:56pm: Sword Song is finished! I had been putting off reading it as much as I could, but the result was inevitable. This could mean extended boredom from now on.

12:16pm: Maple Creek- halfway between Regina and Calgary. I have only one ticket left on my line of tickets! That means I have used tickets to get to:

Ottawa, North Bay, Sudbury, Thunder Bay, Winnipeg, Regina and now Calgary. Only Vancouver to use!

10:30am: Bus sign changes to VANCOUVER! There are loads of children on the bus, which could be annoying. They have been well behaved so far. Dave and I have had to abandon our double seats, and are sitting together now.

8:13am: There is a sign for Swift Currant. Makes me think of a joke: "Did you hear about the bloke that died in a sea of raisins? It was the currant that got him" haha! Luckily, I kept this joke to myself.

8:00am: Moose Jaw- it is just like those Wild West towns in the cowboy films.

7:30am: Totally flat through Saskatchawan, it is prairie country now.

6:30am: Breakfast at a 'Robson's' in Regina. They have totally ripped off Tim Horton's Roll the Rim to Win promotion

Day 2

2:20am: Just woke up, and Ashley told me that we had been stuck in snow for 20 minutes- wheels spinning aimlessly, women screaming etc. (well maybe I made the last bit up). Wish I was awake for it, a bit of action in the tedium.

11:27pm: Just leaving Winnipeg. Dave and I had been joined by a delightful drunken bloke at the bus stop. Needless to say we were happy to get the hell out of there.

10:28pm: Arrived in Winnipeg. On the way in, one of the passengers tells a lovely story of how someone chased him with a knife not too long ago in this city. I had thought about staying here for a night, but I am quickly put off it.

At the bus station, Dave and I had a walk around, out onto the street next to the bus station. Within seconds, a woman (who appears to be a crack addict) tells us how "she needs to see her son in Thunder Bay, and her bank card doesn't work at the moment". Spin that yarn somewhere else, lady.

Minutes later, another man's "car has broken down", do we have any spare change? It's like Montreal all over again.

Sadly, worked out that as we pass the Rockies, it will be the dead of night.

9:37pm: Nothing to report. Insane boredom ensues. The book is saving me. I'm well past halfway, at p259. Water is down to 60%.

8:16pm: The overhead lights have not been activated by the driver, so some idiot decides to use his lighter to help him read his (flammable) book. Thankfully the driver turns the lights on before I have to start casting disapproving glances.

8:08pm: Starting to darken now. We passed a quaint village, with fairy lights decorating a small quay. It reminds me a bit of Centre Parks with the spherical street lights. I am clocking up a lot of views of Canada already!

7:51pm: Had to get myself a hot chocolate (NOT chocolat chaud!) from Tim Horton's when we stopped for ten minutes.

6:36pm: A woman across from me (who, of course, got on at Sudbury), is putting ridiculous makeup on. She is a coloured woman, wearing bright white eye-liner, lipstick and eyebrow pencil. Clinton and Stacey would not approve (not that I watch TLC or anything)!

6:31pm: Superbad ends. A good 2 hours odd have been killed. Water update: 65%

5:30pm: Papa Burger from A&W. Yum.

3:50pm: Whilst watching Superbad, I notice the place we stopped at for just a couple of minutes had wireless internet, so I got on the case, and managed to check emails and facebook before we got back underway!

3:39pm: Begin watching Superbad

3:22pm: Two more granola bars down. Water= 70%. It's warm, and I'm bored. Book- p191

2:54pm: No, I haven't travelled in time. We cross into Manitoba and switch to Central time, because Dave's map says so.

3:29pm: Stopped in some place, where I brushed my teeth with my finger and some toothpaste generously offered by Dave. We're into the long, flat, boring prairies now. Sign says 106km to Ignace.

12:35pm: Lunch special says: "plus fries and salad with all specials". I order a cheeseburger and he tries to charge me for fries. I am not happy, so I downgrade to just a cheeseburger. Misleading menu board, if you ask me. Bought some new water, ridiculously overpriced.

12:20pm:Arrive in Thunder Bay. p143 in Sword Song.

11:33am: I am listening to my iPod, and have decided on the official Montreal-Vancouver Trip Song, 'Go Out and Get It' by John Martyn.

10:33am: Circling Lake Superior:

10:00am: Schreiber. It is a hut for a coffee shop. There are a couple of drink fridges, a crisp rack, which is fine. On the walls there is severe flaked paint, and to get to the toilet you need to hurdle empty oil canisters and unused shelves amongst the dust.

9:50am: Dave gives me a tangerine which I gladly accept.

9:32am: Amazing views of Lake Superior.

8:25am: Parallel to the Canadian Pacific railroad, where a neverending trail of freight cars whizzes past us.

8:22am: See 'Mind out for Moose' signs!

7:00am: Slept quite well. We were awoken for our breakfast stop at an A&W in White River, which is where Winney the Pooh was created! Here I meet my nemesis- a homeless person from Montreal (see http://grahamreid.blogspot.com/, Dec 2007)! She (voluntarily) tells Dave and I her heartbreaking story of how she hitchhiked across Canada from Alberta to Quebec, where she has been on the streets for a year. She is returning to Alberta, where she will speak to her Dad for the first time in four years. All this info with no provocation. I just ate my sauage and egg bun and kept quiet.

Day 1

11:50pm: Dave tells me about the Sudbury smoke stack. Apparently it is the 2nd tallest freestanding structure in the world. It doesn't look that big to me. Smokey, though.

11:30pm: Setting off again, after waiting in the cold while the bus driver messes around. Dave and I have worked out that it will take over 20 hours to get to the next big stop- Winnipeg.

10:05pm: Here we are in Sudbury. It is the weirdo colony of the world. I am stuck here for an hour while we wait for another change of buses. I don't dare look up from the floor for fear of antagonising one of these strange people. From where I am sitting I can see an ancient man looking like he has forgotten where he lives, a balding man in pyjama bottoms and massive boots, a gay Gene Wilder lookalike, what appears to be an ex-convict in an orange jumper emblazoned "Psycho Ward", an Oriental girl in a FLUORESCENT yellow tracksuit (which shines brighter than the sun), a gangster in baggy jeans, bandanna and complete with bling bling jewellery and baseball cap and then Dave, apparently stoned, wondering around aimlessly. The sooner we get out of here the better.

9:26pm: Water update- All gone! Nearing Sudbury where I can hopefully restock.

8:55pm: Have been finding out some info about Dave. He went to school in Sudbury, one of our stops, and studied outdoor teaching (or something of that ilk). He is travelling past Vancouver to a small place North, where he will teach schoolchildren to climb, orienteer, hunt rabbits etc. Also, is travelling to Namibia with the Scouts in the summer to build schools!

8:10pm: Break at North Bay. I make my first travel buddy, Dave (imaginative), from Montreal, born in England! Had to resist Cheetos in the vending machine, which was tough.

7:16pm: Ate two more granola bars. Water update: 50%. This is quite a tedious bit of the journey, actually.

6:37pm: Landscape is incredibly snowy. At some houses it rises halfway up the doors. Lots of motoneige tracks, which brings back all my nervous feelings from when Kate and I nearly got one stuck. The sun is beginning to set over the horizon, casting clear shadows across the trees.

6:10pm: We stop for 15 minutes. I was hungry, and the SMALL pack of Cheetos was calling me, I couldn't remain strong. This truck stop was a dive; the toilet flush didn't work, and evidently hadn't worked for a while. Back on the bus after 15 minutes, and end up waiting another 15 minutes. Dave bought a map of Canada, and it is demoralising. We have travelled about two inches, and there are a lot more inches to go!

5:50pm: I attempt for the first time ever to use a toilet in a bus. It isn't easy. I even contemplated going for it girl-style, but the seat wasn't a pretty sight either. Also, it seems that we are on the bumpiest road in the whole of Canada at this point.

5:30pm: Decide to actually start making an effort with this diary. I'm not too bored yet, and I am trying my hardest not to be bored, because I know there is plenty of time to come! I am sitting in front of two nattering old ladies, who are doing my head in. Their inane dialogue continues for the whole stretch between Ottawa and the small town that they alight the bus. One particular conversation continues for 20 minutes, and it goes on like this:

"We didn't go this way last time we came!"

"It must be a different bus driver..."

"Yes, a different bus driver. See (points), this is where we came last time."

"Yes I remember, we came this way, the last bus driver.....etc etc etc"

If this is how the whole trip is going to pan out, I only hope that my iPod battery holds out for as long as possible.

2:40pm: Arrive in Ottawa. I am minus three granola bars, all the fruit that I brought with me, and the big bottle of water I had is down 20%.

12:00pm: Preparing to leave Montreal for the final time. After having a shower and feeling incredibly fresh, I have already sweat profusely on the metro with all my bags, and already I stink. Great start.